...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
