dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
