I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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