So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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