thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
