im drinking this country out of the recession.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
