Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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