I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize