is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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