So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Couch. On fire.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
