He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
