kristin has been a bad kristin
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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