I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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