Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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