you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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