drunk tastebuds have low standards.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
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