i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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