maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
