Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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