connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
