EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
