Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
is it fun? or sober?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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