her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
