I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
