am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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