I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
