dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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