cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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