who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize