So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
