since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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