remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
His hands were made for my vagina.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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