No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
