after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
