no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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