That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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