i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
