somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
