you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
