Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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