Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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