hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
