why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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