You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
