he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
