Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
