He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
