The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
