how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I smell like Dick and happiness
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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