I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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