yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
