I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Green mimosas i think yes
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
