oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
