It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
This girl is more easily done than said...
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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