Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
