I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
